jennifers

Thank you all for the well wishes, the thoughts, and the prayers… I am sure they were heard!! Baby (Alex Joseph – Joseph being Dad’s middle name) is wonderful. I spent some time with him today and am so in love…. he is too precious and beautiful for words. They are monitoring him closely in NICU, but he is doing very well.

Dad found out today and we videotaped it so my sister could see his reaction. It was fantastic. He just kept saying “Oh my, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my”…. then he said that life was perfect and nothing could be better. It was such a great moment. He looked into the camera and said a little message for my sister, which I’m sure she will cherish always. Not 2 minutes after hearing the news, they came to take him for his procedure. I’m sure it gave him a bit of fighting spirit.

The procedure – they decided to try to put a drain into the gallbladder, much the same as the one he already has in the duct. They were hoping this would drain much of the bile and infection, rather then doing an operation since they will have to open him up and the recovery is difficult for a healthy person, let alone someone in his condition. It didn’t seem to be working very well by the time I left, but hopefully is by now. If not, they are willing to do surgery and Dad is willing to take the risk to have it done. According to his oncologist, the cancer is very stable and his scans have not changed in the 3 months since stopping chemo. She believes if it wasn’t for his current problems, he still has some quality time to be had at home. This was good to hear, and we hope that should surgery be required, the recovery isn’t too difficult on Dad. I guess we’ll see tomorrow how the new drain is doing.

Lainy — how is Teddy? Was last night peaceful for him? Hoping and praying for another good night. So glad the fentenyl is working. It’s finally helping Dad, although he is on an incredible amount of it. Seeing him sleeping because he is on so many meds is much better then the pain he was in, so we’ll take it!

Andie – thinking of you and your Dad, always. Hope he is still doing okay.

Everyone else – again, thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers – you all mean so much to me, even though we’ve never met.

Thinking of you all…

Jen

Healthy baby boy!!! 4 pounds, 5 ounces… pretty good for 6 weeks early. He will be in ICU for a few days to watch for infection (meconium was present in fluid), but they are both doing great. God sure works in mysterious ways We will have the proud Daddy tell my Dad tomorrow – rather then make it news that will scare and aggitate him, we will make it something to celebrate. Can’t wait to meet my nephew… our little miracle during a time of adversity.

Jen

Things are so very very awful. Went to see Dad last night and he was in a lot of pain – even taking the maximum amount of meds he was allowed (which is way more then ever before), he could not get up or move at all without yelping in pain. I left the house very sad, hoping that they would give him something better at his appointment today, and knowing that the nurses would be coming in tomorrow to help control it.

I got a call on my way to work this morning from Mom saying that I needed to meet them at the hospital. They had to call 911 last night when Dad’s pain got so bad that he was saying he wanted to just die… to hear that from a man who has never said his pain was near a 10 before is heartbreaking. The ambulance came and they gave Dad fentynol(sp) which helped for an hour and a half, and the pain came back. It was a long night for my poor Mom too.

He went in today, and after he couldn’t get out of the wheel chair without all of us helping, and screaming in pain the entire time, it was decided that he needed to be admitted to the palliative unit for pain control. He’s had an absolutely ridiculous amount of fentynol, as well as oxycontin and oxycodone, he is still “beyond a 10”, and just wants it all to end. No food or drink (basically) for 2 days. They can’t figure out what’s wrong, since his scan from a week ago doesn’t show much change. He’s being treated for an infection (not sure what – need to talk to the doctor), and they are wondering if he has organ failure that started within the last week… more tests and another CT tomorrow… not looking forward to having to move him from his bed again… the thought makes me want to cry.

Right now, I just want him out of pain. I don’t care what it takes, the pain is just too unfair. I hope for a better day tomorrow. They are still saying “when he gets home in a few days”, but at the moment, that seems like an impossibility. Maybe once they figure things out and get it under control it will change, but right now I don’t see it.

Dad may be the first at the table, holding spots for your loved ones… it’s a sad thought for me, but it’s better then the life he is living right now, because it’s not much of a life at all.

Thinking and praying for you all… feeling so lucky to have you.