nancy246

Dearest Lainy, I always feel that Teddy has never really left thanks to his visits and your wonderful memories that you share. Sending you lots of love this Christmas and wishes for the best of health for you. Hugs. Nancy

Let’s Live, By your name I know you approach this disease with the best attitude! Have a Merry Christmas. Hugs. Nancy

Alla, I can look a long way back and I was that teenager losing my dad. I could not talk to my mom about it either, maybe because I was afraid of causing her more pain. My friends were a distraction but it was my first big loss and it took time before I felt normal again. My children lost their father 14 months ago. My son is now 30 and my daughters are now 28 and 26. Both of my girls talk to me about my husband/their dad regularly but my son does not. Guys really do seem to grief different than girls. I belong to a grief group. I am the only widow and all the other ladies are mothers who have lost children ranging from 18 – 25. No men come, although they have been invited since day one.
There is a natural depression after a death and your son is probably finding it hard to be motivated about school. I know when I lost my dad I went through a lot of soul searching about “What is life really about?”
I work at a high school and have worked with students who have suffered great losses. It is important for your son to have at least 2 people at the school checking in on him, to show they care and so he knows that there is someone there for him if he wants. This is as simply as asking how his day is going and does he need any help with his school work. You can also talk to one of his friends dad that you know well about getting them out to go fishing or something – just with the guys.
It is not an easy road you are on but it sounds like you are doing the best that can be expected. Hugs. Nancy

Mary, I echo all that you said so beautifully. I am so glad to hear your looking forward to the future. Hopefully that knee will catch up to you soon! Hugs. Nancy

Hi Tiff, Ditto with all the waves of positive thoughts and prayers. Glad you are feeling well. Is the “not eating good” because you don’t feel like eating or when you eat you feel nauseous? Have you tried juicing or protein shakes? Lots of hugs and love to you and your family. Nancy

Darla, It is a comfort having you and our other kindred spirits following this path together. Nancy

Dear mn, Thinking of you as you pass the year milestone. I passed the year of losing my husband in September. I am finally starting to dream of him well instead of sick. It is much more comforting.
Just wanted to say I lost my dear mom over 13 years ago but she hasn’t left me. In fact there are days I look in the mirror and see her vividly – lol!
As we approach Remembrance Day we reflect on memory and it has been said to live on in those that we leave behind is not to die. I am sure our mothers live on in us. Wishing you comfort as you move forward through the next year. Nancy

Alla, I have thought about your post a lot and after a year I would think I would know what to say but I don’t. You are right in saying that it is harder than imagined. I honestly do not remember much of the first few months. I continually challenge myself to enjoy life, be thankful for what I have and had, and take a day at a time. I take comfort in knowing Doug will be a part of me forever and I am a better person because of him. I try to find laughter in each day and try not to feel sorry for myself. It is a roller coaster ride and times when you think you are doing well, bam! The intensity and rawness do diminish though, and you put your grief in a different place and you start to live again. It seems at first you can not feel real joy, but one day you feel it again and you are thankful and you know your dear husband is right there cheering you on, for he does not want you to remain sad. I continue to talk about my husband (and to him as well- lol) because he was a huge part of mine and my children’s lives. I wish there was a magic potion but it does get easier with time. Your beautiful children will help you through. Hugs. Nancy