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So much of our lives are consumed by this cancer – either caring for our loved one, looking for treatment or doctors, sometimes the day-to-day business is a blessing. Sometimes it’s more than we can handle. You are doing great. Keep up your positive attitude and fight. Fight for your husband’s life and do all that you can while he is feeling good. Some have said that this cancer is a blessing because it raises your awareness to how precious life is and how precious our relationships are. Vent, grieve, whatever you need – we are here. Blessings, Susan
Lainy – I think I have mentioned that Randy has had numerous visits with angels and he has talked to them for up to an hour and a half at one time. He hasn’t talked in his sleep much lately. He has had more energy but is seriously agitated and angry. My aunt did not have blue nails or lips until the last few hours. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I think of you every day. I know you will hold Teddy close. Please tell him we are thinking of him and love him. Blessings, Susan
Dear Chelle – My husband had mild jaundice for a few months PRIOR to being diagnosed. He is rarely jaundiced now. He felt increasingly poor over a 2 year period, but no diagnosis despire going to the doctor’s ever 4 to 6 weeks. We changed doctors and had a diagnosis within a week. It’s been 4 really tough months. Even in an illness we experience grief – anger, denial, bargaining, etc. You will experience a lot of feelings and you just need to feel them while you seek more information and await the doctor’s review of records and diagnosis. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessings, Susan
Thanks again for sharing about the crabbiness. It sure helped me as we have had a ROUGH week with the anger and hurtful words. Blessings, Susan
I am so sorry to hear that your pain continues. It sounds like there is a lot of emptiness. While my husband has not left yet (from cc), the essence of him is gone and we are left with someone who is not known to us. The angry, bitter, hurtful man in the place of my husband makes losing him that much harder. I pray for strength and energy and peace for you and that your life takes on new meaning even though your loss will be part of you always. Susan
While there are no statistics about how this CC progresses and who or when or what time anyone has, there are statistics about an attitude of gratitude and how much happier your days are (regardless of how many are left) and the memories that you create and leave and the value of a life well spent. As hard as this disease is, adopt that attitude of gratitude, come often, talk with us, share the ups and the downs and know that we will be here. We care. The most unsettling part of this process is the unknown, but Josh Groban sings, isn’t faith believing what can’t be seen? Sorry that you have to go through this, but hold the lessons close and your loved ones closer. Blessings, Susan
Dear Margaret – My husband has been quite grouchy since he got cancer, which was a significant period of time before he was diagnosed. For 2 years I have lived with the shadow of my husband. It has been hard. Especially since I was accustomed to being his princess and he was always in my corner. Now I have to remind him periodically that we are on the same team and that I love him. I am not the enemy. He is so angry that he won’t see his grandchildren grow up. He is angry that at 58 we won’t grow old together. He is scared that he doesn’t know how the end will be and if he will have courage. So much is going through his mind that he has no ability to see anyone else’s point of view or see the impact of this awful disease on the rest of our family, including me. I have been fairly patient and often loving. There are times that I take a day off – I go to lunch or I go shopping or both. I have to take the break and do things I want to do. I pretend that I don’t think of him every minute while I am away, but the truth is, I never stop thinking about him and yes, worrying. This disease is a thief for many of us -it robs us of the long life we hoped for, the dreams we will not see fulfilled, the freedom to do the things we would like to do and so much more. I have to continue to depend on God to get me through the days and know that I can garner enough strength to see my husband through the most difficult days of his entire life. My children and I believe that CC has taken from us the man we have known and loved, but out of respect for THAT man, we love what is left in the physical body for as long as God leaves him in our care. May you take strength and comfort from others on this site who really care about the struggle you are having and understand how difficult these roller coaster days are. Keep posting and get those feelings out of your body and onto paper or email or verbally or through physical activity – whatever works for you. Get the feelings out so they don’t rot inside. It’s tough, but you can do it. Blessings, Susan. Oh yeah, after you do all of that – have a cookie for me and for you.
I think this disease makes all of us – patients, caregivers, family members, spouses feel vulnerable. This is a 15 minute utube video, but well worth the time to watch. I hope it helps.
TEDxKC – Bren
Oh we really understand what you and your family are going through and I am so sorry. As we approach Christmas, I think about what to give my husband who has cc. I think we will give him some pictures, maybe some movies to watch on the tv. It is hard to decide what would be meaningful. So I agree, practical gifts or something he can enjoy in the moment, if he likes music, soft music cds, pictures of him with loved ones. Blessings to you as you face Thanksgiving this week – it is when we dig deep to find that which we are thankful for that joy has the best opportunity to visit. Blessings, Susan
Dear Lisa – We also use a meal replacement and lots of cottage cheese with fruit and soups. They seem to go down better and stay down. Please talk to your doctor about controlling the pain. Your energy level will be better if you aren’t trying to fight pain too. Keep hangin’ in there. Blessings, Susan
I fully agree with everyone. I c ome to the site almost every day and I find my family here providing me comfort that I could not have imagined. I feel very alone some days, with my husband being sick and unfortunately, he’s not his sweet and loving self anymore, but I come here and find caring, considerate, concerned people. Thank you all. Blessings, Susan
We were one of the very first to get this insurance for my husband and I can tell you that it is such a blessing. He had no coverage prior to getting this and we are thankful to have a PPO plan with small copayments. The monthly amount is not insignificant, but it is much better than the cash price we were paying prior. The people at PCIP have all been very helpful and caring. Good luck to anyone needing this coverage. Thanks Marion for posting. I hadn’t thought of that. Blessings, Susan
Dear Minnie – Welcome to California. We are happy you are here even if it is for treatment. My husband had 3 cycles of Gemzar treatment (6 chemo infusions) and had no adverse effects at all. Hope the same for you. Have a great time while you are here. I don’t think the chemo will be a reason not to enjoy your stay. Blessings, Susan
Dear Varun – What a special post about your mum. I am so glad that you had the opportunity to make her last 3 years complete with dreams fulfilled. Bless you for that. It is so wonderful to hear of your experience with a loving, caring mum. Thank you for posting and letting your feelings show. We relate so well to how difficult this process is. Glad you could come here to share and feel free to do so often. Thinking of you, your family and your “shining” star, mum. I am sure she is watching over you and her spirit will be with you. Blessings, Susan
