teresa

Hya all I often pop in on here to see how you are all coping.
I hope I dont offend anyone on this site but I know how great you are.

As you know I lost my lovely young son in just 8 short weeks in 2006.
At that time I had been told my husband had about 18 months to live.
This was due to 56 years of diabetes, kidney failure.
At 3.00am this morning I lost him. He had survived an extra 18 months.
It has been so awful having to grieve and deal with Alan whilst at the same time doing the rounds and routine of hospitals. I am totally worn out and now have to start grieving again. I feel so sad and tired. love and light teresa Alan’s mom

Hya both jemima and andie.

I urge you to keep on top of all of the people you are in contact with.

This forum is the place to be at all times and where you will gain the most important and best information ( ask for help on here) concerning
cholangio carcinoma. Get second and even third opinions if available.

Then follow through with what information you gain from this forum.

My son Alan Smith, was also told in the same manner as your dad andie and I can sense your anger as we felt the same. Alan was treated at the QE BIRMINGHAM in 2006. We also required 2 attempts at stenting and a bag that was eventually closed up etc.

I can only add that if you need to contact me (I am birmingham based) you can through this site etc. You can view alans picture on here and all of my posts. I wish you both all my love take care love and light Alan’smom

Hya Julia and all
I do look in on all of you every evening. I too am pleased that I am able to write in this section about your wanderful news. xxxx

However, I cannot praise our St Mary’s hospice here in Birmingham enough.
They came to our home for the last 10 days or so and were magnificent, nothing was too much. I had a number for any 24 hour calls, so when he passed away in the middle of the night I only had to call and a nurse came and I didnt have to worry at all as she took charge of all of the details, no ambulance, no doctors etc. We were able to get everything done the next day. The hospice then continued to provide me with all free treatments (as Katie has described) and councelling for at least 6 months as it was so traumatic.
Alan didnt go in as it was only 8 weeks and he asked me if I would look after him in our home, as he did have his own home just around the corner.

So in the time since all of this, we as a family have managed to raise

Dearest Sara

What an incredible journey for someone so young.
You are not alone.
Here is where you can come anytime to put any words that spill out.

My journey was much shorter than yours and John’s but very much in the same vein. My son Alan when diagnosed was helping his friends to build a climbing wall as the one at the university had been closed down. He was so fit and healthy. I peeked through the bathroom door one day when he was having a bath and saw him looking in our large mirror, I could see the shock in his face.
You and John’s parents will survive and each day will blurr into each other.
Time will have no meaning for a long long time. One day in the distant future you will become to realise that life has changed all of you forever. The pain will ease but oh so slowly.

After a very long time I decided to start a book, very simple at first.
My first thing was to copy and paste a lot of the very very special messages that people on this board had posted for Me and Alan. I too copied the poem from Lainy and was so grateful for that. Everyone on here is so magnificent in our times of grief.
Even today, 3 years on and especially as it is christmas time my heart still breakes for the loss of my son.

I weep for you and John and his parents too. all my love to you all.
Alans mom

Hya all

I still come to this site every night before I go to bed.
I read about your travels along this long and winding road and still feel part of it all. I dont know how I would have managed with you all.

It is over 3 years since I lost Alan in 8 short weeks, So healthy, so fit and in his words “mom I am so happy and have a great life”. When he was diagnosed he told the doctors at the hospital, I am blessed beyond belief with all of my friends. Guess what, still today and so often these friends, young ladies and young men with busy lives continue to come and see us or ring to see if we are ok.
I have found it is the people that I expected to understand are not able to comprehend how awful it is to loose someone so close, a child who was also my baby.
They go quiet when I speak of him, it is as if because he is not physically here he has completly disappeared. Some say they dont know what to say, others say it is time I MOVED ON. As if I am going to another planet or something. I have been learning some different crafts etc and my life has changed.

However, my heart still aches, some days pass by and lots of things get done and there are others when I sit and ponder about how it could have happened. It does and will get easier but it is no mean feat, we will all never be the same again and our loved ones will be at peace.
Love and light to you all Alans mom

Hya all I look in on you all almost everyday and read about all of you my dear friends.
I know how you all feel as I lost my son Alan (SMITH) in 2006 and I thought the pain would never end. It hasn’t, but the edge has blurred and I became stunted in someway. The tears still flow so unexpected but I have realised he couldnt have lived on with his body how it was. He was such an active young man and would have hated being not able to do what he had been doing.

Now I am going through the process again (albeit not with cc).
We had been married 50 years, 27th july and my hubby is coming to the end of 56 years with insulin 2 times daily.
This is so hard to do again in such a short time, I hav’nt had time to grieve for alan properly as we have been to hospital constantly for the last 2 years.
My heart is breaking yet again I dont know if I can cope with this so soon
love and light to you all Alans mom

Jeff

We all love you so much, no matter what country we are in.
Once again you are so right. Christmas comes around each year no matter how when or why. I am so pleased to read your messages.

love and light alan’s mom

Oh my dear charlene

Once again I sit here sharing my tears with you.
I share your pain and the love you have for John.
No matter who we are, we are never prepared for what happens.
We truly do not understand until it has happened nor should we know.

You may just lie there and let your tears flow, shout or howl whatever you need to do. Let your tears bathe your face. Talk to whoever you can about John, constantly. I promise you, you will get through this.

As you all know I lost my son Alan within 8 weeks.
My fit healthy, happy and contented son. It still hurts so bad, some days I cannot do anything. I just let it be,,
We are all here anytime for you as part of this special family, love and light teresa Alans mom