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Carrieann,
As you probably know I lost my Mom in April of this year. She was diagnosed in May of 2008. I’ve always felt a kinship with you since we are both from North Carolina and have put thousands of miles on our cars. Also your Mom was diagnosed right after mine was.
I am so glad that you, like me was there at the end to comfort and ease her way into heaven. I felt so blessed to be able to hand my Mom from our arms into the arms of her lord. There is a beauty in death that I had never known and can’t explain to someone who hasn’t traveled this journey.
I know the emptiness and the void you are starting to feel. I’m still struggling with the grief process. I thought it would be easier with all of the anticipatory grieving that I did through out the course of her disease. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and I can tell you grief has NO TIMETABLE and no expiration date. I do however believe God has been so close to me and is gently leading me in the right direction.
Not a day goes by that I haven’t thought to pick up the phone and call or send her an email. When my daughter called to say she made honor roll, my first impulse was to call Mom.
You will find yourself in “automatic mode” for a while. You’ll find a deep strength within yourself and you’ll be able to do everything you need to do right now.
All I can say is I am so sorry but yet so happy you were with her and able to say everything you needed. I know she was so proud to have a daughter such as you with her when she died. Can you imagine how proud she must have been as a Mom to have you with her, praying and caring and holding her hand?
I’d like to think our Moms have met and are catching each other up on their daughters…in whom they are well pleased”.
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care of yourself and come back often to share.
Many hugs and much, much love,
Pam
Jill,
I say go if at all possible. You will find a strength and calm deep inside of you that you won’t believe is possible. You will be fine. We will all pray for a sense of peace for you.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
PamI learned long ago that NORMAL IS ONLY A SETTING ON THE DRYER!!
You are going through so much. I know how hard it was with my Mom’ s illness. I found myself using what I call the 5 minute rule. The rule states: Do five minutes then tackle the next five minutes.
You will find a strength deep inside of yourself that you never knew existed. Know that we are here for you and your family and we are all on a journey together.
Keep the faith.
Many hugs and much love to you and your family.
Pam
Onlygirl,
It sounds as if your Dad is an amazing man. It also sounds as if you have the right doctors onboard that are treating your dad as a person instead of just another disease.
You might try the search engine at the top of the page and search for radiation or any other concerns you might have. We are all here for you and your family. Remember to take care of the caregiver (that would be you! lol).
You will find some of the most caring and compassionate people and the best information on this site.
Many hugs to you, your dad and your family.
Pam
Judy,
This might be one of those times to implement the “5 minute” rule which states…..Do five minutes and then tackle the next 5 minutes.
Worrying is hard work and it drains you. Take care of yourself and know that we are here for you. Someone sent me a quote that says: Worry shared is half worry; Joy shared is double joy. Maybe it would help to share your worry with your husband or close friend.
I am sending good thoughts and many hugs your way. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.
Hugs!
PamCharlene,
You are truly an amazing woman. You’ve accomplished so much that you need to give yourself credit for. You were wonderful with the love of your life, John and throughout his illness. You were a source of love and strength for him while he fought this monster of a disease. You had to be a strong caregiver and manage everything knowing deep inside you were going to lose John. That is an amazing accomplishment. You showed him so much love and support. All of that was truly an act of unsurpassed love.
Now while dealing with debilitating grief at the loss of your soulmate, you are still making hard decisions and STILL taking care of those you love.
I know how hard it is for me dealing with the loss of my Mom on April 3, 2009. I can’t fathom what it would be like to lose my beloved husband. Grief is so much harder than I ever imagined. I don’t know if we will ever be as happy as we were before our loved ones’ death but I know we will be stronger and more compassionate and emphathic.
Try and take some time JUST FOR YOU. John would only want the best for you. I believe he will always be with you and that you will be reunited someday. Be kind to yourself. Grief has no timetable and certainly no expiration date!
You sound as if you are making sensible decisions and that you now have a plan. Take advantage of all the help you are offered. For instance, Daddy was able to take care of all of the social security issues over the telephone. That saved him from having to sit for hours in the waiting room at the SS office. Most people I think have good motives about trying to help but death is a difficult subject for most to handle. I know our funeral home had some wonderful literature that was helpful in providing lists of things that needed to be done.
We are all here for you anytime day or night and we all truly understand how you are feeling. You are not alone!
Come back often and let us know how you are doing.
Much love and many, many hugs!
Pam
Kris,
It sounds as though you have a caring doctor who is looking at you as a Patient and not a disease. Keep the faith and know we are all here for you!
Many hugs and much love!
PamLady Bug,
Be assured you guys are in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard it is to wait for results.
Many hugs,
PamHi Walk,
My Mom’s oncologist prescribed a liquid drug called Megace. It worked for Mom like a miracle. She maintained her weight and her appetite was wonderful up until the last few days before she died. It’s a pleasant tasting liquid and she only took 20 mg. once a day.
I would ask your oncologist about it.
You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers.
Many Hugs,
PamHi Walk,
You are correct in that high ammonia levels can cause this. One other thing in elderly patients is a bladder infection and/or dehydration.
My Mom had some of the same symptoms and we all were convivnced that the whole family at times were suffering from “chemo brain”.
Towards the very end of her disease, I think we were dealing with some brain metastasis.
You pass through my mind quite often and I wonder how things are going. You and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Many hugs and much love,
PamDearest Deb,
Vent away all you like!!!! I daresay if you were to search our individual previous posts you would find hundreds by those of us who just needed to get it all out! (and did…lol) It’s so comforting to just be yourself with people who truly understand and have walked or are walking in the same shoes.
We are all on this stinking journey together – so come here often. I promise (from experience) there will ALWAYS be an answer, a verbal hug or just someone who understands.
Many hugs and much love,
PamSending up the balloons and throwing the confetti!!! This is a wonderful way to end my day at work by reading this great news!
You go girl!!!!!!!
Hugs,
PamWelcome Mary,
You will find some of the most intelligent, compassionate and caring people on this site.
Come often and remember….the only dumb questions are the ones unasked!
You will find a wealth of knowledge, practical experience, support, cheerleading, hand-holding, laughs….the list goes on and on.
We are all on this journey together!
Hugs and Welcome!
Pam
