pam

We lost my dad in November. He has a funny phone recording on his cell that says he doesn’t know where is phone is at and for that matter he doesn’t know where he is at but leave a message and he will call back and get it all sorted out. We want to record this before we disconnect his cell phone. Sometimes I can call his phone and play it sometimes it is too sad. I believe it is fine to continue to use a recording as long as you are comfortable with it. I have heard it is also good for home security to have a male voice on your answering machine.

Hi Nancy, my dad died 6 months after diagnosis from cc. He probably had it at least two years prior. He had intense itching and anemia. His doctor did testing, but it was not diagnosed until he became jaundice. He tried a surgical resection and some chemo. It just seemed like we could never get ahead of the symptoms. I will say, however, my dad was 75 and had other health issues. I know what you are talking about when you said you have finally had the courage to speak online. I will tell you the people here are real and will help you in your darkest days. I lost my dad two months ago. They were here for me! I still follow this site and post every so often. We spent time wondering how my dad contracted cc. He was in Thailand during the Vietnam War but was also a smoker in the past. He quit about 20 years prior. He really never had digestive problems in the past. It could have been related to his age. I spent many hours researching information via Internet, but we will never know the exact cause. It hit us out of the blue. Each day gets a little easier, but there are sad times too. I wish your husband the best with chemo. Take breaks when you can as a caregiver. I retired in May as a teacher and had six months as my dad’s caregiver. We had lots of memories together. Think of you fondly, Pam

I have been following your caring bridge site and have the deepest admiration for you and Dave. You are both tremendous, loving people that have, in my opinion, such great depth and wisdom. Your journey has been an inspiration to me. I hope the best for you and Dave. I don’t have any advice medically, however. My dad didn’t suffer with edema. I am thinking and praying for your family. pam

Yea, that nurse had a twin and she was in the room moments later. They were too much for me. My dad didn’t want me to fuss about it. He couldn’t remember the night from you know what. I actually became annoyed with my dad in the end because he was charming to the twins for the rest of his hospitalization. Go figure.
So what Susan Levine said about Teddy’s care is a contradiction. ( what they did wasn’t right but they were following policy.) I wonder how often she is there? She should have spoken to her staff before calling you, in my opinion.
Sounds like she has some housekeeping to do. It is really aggravating that she would say the hospital couldn’t have done more. Is this to help establish, in her mind, that her faculty did enough? To me this shows the low expectations she has for her staff and faculty. This shouldn’t be acceptable and I believe it will really bother her.
You did the very best you could do. You didn’t have any time to correct the situation. Everything happened so fast. Most importantly, you were all there for
Teddy. And he knew it. I will be thinking of you and your family this week.

Lainy, I had an experience somewhat like your Teddy. My dad had an attempted resection in June. The night he came out of surgery they put him in a regular room. He should have been in ICU. They gave him a pain button to press. He had no idea where his nose was. The pain was unbearable. He would have spasms that brought him ached off the bed. I spent the night pressing his pain button and begging for extra medication that they brought hours later. After a night of no sleep, I told the nurse, that had just come on duty, about our night. I was promptly told that I should not have hit the pain button! And that I shouldn’t do it anymore. I just couldn’t believe it. She said I could have overdosed him on the morphine if he was not in pain and that he would have to push it if he had pain. Still don’t understand that experience. Sorry to say, I sometimes believe nursing has become more about paperwork and less about realistic patient care. Sorry if I offend anyone in the medical profession. I hope all this can be resolved for you. I’m glad you are donating Teddy’s things. We will be doing the same in February with my dad’s stuff.

My mom passed two years ago. Her spirit stayed with us for two days. I could just feel her everywhere. She was making sure we were okay. It was so strong, you just knew without a shadow of a doubt that is what is happening. So I believe you and you are not crazy at all. I viewed the singing videos and had big tears. Teddy could sing!

We sure do appreciate your updates. I love your post. I am so amazed about the arrangements you’ve made. The church services sound so beautiful. I feel like you took us there and then on down to Taco Bell. I am so glad you have Robin’s support and she has yours. I hope you get some rest in the upcoming days. Just remember Teddy is at peace. Close your eyes and let that wash over you!

Lainy, thinking of you and Teddy. I hope everything is better.