donna9
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Barbara, As other have said, you have the final say. My Jim did chemo and the whipple surgery. He was at the point that his treatment was not effective for the cancer. He, We decided to stop chemo. He had 4 great weeks, did what he could, went where he wanted. Then he was so very weak he continued at home with hospice,the love of the family and the help of God. He never gave up he got th see a grandson read for the first time. Another loose a first tooth. He was so blessed the be here for these first. But the fight was too much and he did pass on 6-5. He was peaceful those last few days. You need to make the final choice to stop therapy and fight on your own. You will know when the times comes to just live with all your heart. Prayers, Donna
As others have done, we talked about this before my Jim got really sick. We live with our daughter and her family and they have 2 children 6 and 8. For the months before Jim got bed ridden, The kids were so well adjusted after a few months, that they handled it all so well. They even saw him after as well. They asked many questions and we answered them honestly (mostly) They ended up feeling sad but included in the process. We had Hospice. This was a great help to us. We had 24hr nurses the last 3 days. It gave us a chance to rest off and on. It was helpful to have someone else handle all the pain meds because we were afraid to give too much. They assured us it was never too much and Jim was mostly comfortable during those 3 days. We were all with him when he passed and it was beautiful but very sad. Keep being strong for your kids. Kids are stronger than we know. Be honest to a point with them. It takes the fear out of the process. Keeping you in my prayers. Donna
Dear Betht, I feel your pain. My husband died 6-5 and life has not been the same since. We miss him every minute of the day. So many ‘first’ to go thru. I try to just live few hours at a time. Pray, Remember, laugh and love your family. We have lots of love to spead around. Each member has their memory of your husband, let them remember with you. There are no words that we can say to make it go away. I am so sorry for your loss.
Betsy, my husband had said for months, God doesn’t give you what you can handle,. God helps us handle what we are given…….
I too hate the fact that I’ve lost my best friend within 7 months after being told he was 99.9 cancer free. I hate the whipple surg he had. The long ordeal of home care to recoup. I hate the draining tubes that made him really uncomfortable for months and months. I hated the measuring of everything. I hate the IV feeding he had to have at home. I hated the long rides back and forth to the hospital and the fact that I couldn’t drive it. I hated the re admits for months on end with infection after infection. I hated the helplessness I fell not being able to Keep him alive. I hate the fact that he is gone and I so dearly miss him. I hate the fact that we all have to face such heart break.
I am so sorry to hear the news. Jim stopped the gemzar and had 5 good weeks.
He too looked healthy and not like someone dying in 4 weeks. Hang in there, enjoy the goos days. DonnaThank you all so very much for you prayers. Today is my Jims birthday. We are having a family day in his honor. We miss him so much already. Keeping busy with plans for the services and friends have been so good to us. It shows he was loved by our extended family almost as much as our family. So many thoughtful people. We are blessed. Again, thank you….Donna
My husband also have the whipple in october. He was release after a long stay in the hosp. We were expected to start chemo and radiation in January. We saw the radiation oncolgist to set up radiation. Jims test came back with lymph node and liver mets. His markers had increased, so no radiation was able to be done. His tumor markers were in the thousands in spite of the gemzar he took for 9 treatments. We decided to stop the chemo. He had about 5 pretty good weeks. We now have him on hospice. They have been trying to help his pain. He has mets to the bone. The oncologist is not hopeful at this point, saying enjoy each day. Which we are.
I will say a prayer to you and your friend. So many stories have good results. Try to stay possitive and do enjoy the times he is feeling well. DonnaDear Heather, I could say how sorry I am for your loss, but that could not express the sadness in my heart for you and your sister. As I sit here watching my husband of 42 years gasp for breaths waiting for the pain to subside a little. I truly can feel your pain. We will include you and your family in our prayers. Donna
Thank you Janet. I think we will try to see the onc this week and get him on hospice now. I think he will feel much better as well. I figured he would only be in the hosp for an overnight stay. Thank you for your kindness and concern. It is really nice to have a place to post your concerns. thank you guys. Donna
our oncologist asked us to wait on Hospice till Jims next appt, Which is June 11.
Jim is not on o2 yet. I think he will need to go back to oncology next week. He
is so afraid he will have to go to the hospital again. He hates it. He has a few more things on his ‘to do list’ and won’t hear of anything getting in his way. I have talked to the pcp today. He explained that the effusion might need to be drained. He just didn’t think it was time yet. He feels that the lung might be involved at this point. Jim is more short of breath. Jim doesn’t want any treatment other than for comfort. I promised him I would do anything he wanted. Still so sad this is happening so fast now. A week ago he didn’t even look sick. Now he has to take 2 pain meds at a time. DonnaSorry I didn’t update sooner. Jim saw the oncologist last wed. The decision was made to stop chemo. The davanat was not an option because it is given as first line drug. Dr had heard of it, so that was incouraging. We will set up with hospice in the weeks ahead. Plan is to treat the symptom as needed.
We moved yesterday to our daughters home with her family. Jim seems to have fractured a rib somehow and he is very uncomfortable (go figure)looks like a trip to the Dr. again. In the mean time we will start the pain meds again.
There is so much to worry about, we are trying to take the immediate things and setting th rest aside. I will keep you imformed as to how he is weathering the new plan.Ashley, you are too funny..But fear not, I also have a binder. I will try finding some info on Davanat Before our appt wednesday. Just when you feel beat someone give you a thread of hope. thanks. Donna in Mass
thank you all for your replies. In past meetings, Our oncologist said this is the only chemo he would offer at this time because of the fast spreading. We have an appt on Wednesday to recap the recent results. We will never give up trying. Jim is opened to trying anything available that will be helpful. We have talked about palliative care and Jim is okay with that if thats what the Onc suggest. However we have great respect for our PCP. I have been his medical assistant for 29 years. He is a friend as well as our pcp. He keeps in contact with our oncologist weekly. Our pcp has bent over for us to get the best care available in massachusetts. Your right Magic, our pcp has the whole picture for 3 generations. Jims surgery was done as Mass General Hospital in Boston. The whipple was her specialty and she did what she could. She was very optimistic. But this mean disease has its own mind. I would be greatful to have jim plateau at this stage for awhile. I guess we will see. Thank you all again. I will keep you up to date after our appt. Donna
Jim will be having a CT scan on Monday AM. With the elevated CA19-9 I think the Dr wants to see what has happend during the past month. Then we have an appt on Wednesday with the Dr. I don’t know if he will continue with Jims chemo. We don’t know what to think right now. Prayers needed here. My PCP thinks the chemo is not working and we might be better starting palliative care thru hospice. Jim is still loosing weight he is starting to look sick, I just don’t know what to think. I lost my Mom awhile ago and now I face Jim cancer and the possibility of loosing my best friend. cross your fingers
