okansas
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Dear Carl, your post really captures the feelings a spouse has when they are left behind. You describe so eloquently the raw and unceasing pain.
It’s been a little over a year for me now. I can tell you that you do start to learn how to live with the pain.
And I believe Darla when she says it gets better, although I have not yet seen that for myself. And I believe Lainy when she says that life is for the living, although I haven’t felt that yet either. But their experience gives me hope.
Yes we carry on for our children, but it can seem impossible some days.
It’s wise of you to come back to the cc family/ forum now and again. Yes it’s painful to remember the suffering and loss of your beloved, but those who have traveled this path before us offer much hope and wisdom and comfort. For that I am grateful.
To those who still have their loved one with them, I will say my biggest regret is that while my husband was still alive his illness moved so quickly we didn’t have the chance to talk about our life together after this earthly one. I really yearn to know what he would have told me. I believe in the signs, and do see them.
Carl, for now don’t think of big chunks of time. Sometimes it will be all you can do to Just think about breathing. That’s an accomplishment. just hang on second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Before long you’ll find you have stretched that to a day, then a week, then a month. You will feel better. As Lainy mentioned, if you are spiritually inclined, cling to that for dear life and it will help. Lean on others for now.
I am so sorry for your loss. Know that many are thinking of you and wishing you comfort.
MargaretDuke, I have to agree with Lainy about the need for action.
That was not appropriate patient care. When I think of all the good that comes from the support and exchange of experience and ideas on this forum, I can’t imagine any of us being better off without it.
I have learned more about my husband’s disease from reading this forum than I ever learned from the medical community in the two months he was treated by them. I appreciated their care and concern, but there is a lack and patient knowledge is critical.
Again, so sorry you had to put up with his ignorant remarks.
MargaretDuke, in reference to your concern, if it’s any consolation, my husband remained his same kind self throughout his time. Courage and bravery are the words that always come to my mind when I think of my husbands amazing and ceaseless fight. Take heart.
Wishing you many more Christmases.
MargaretDear Kevin, my deepest sympathy. I’m sorry you’ve had to suffer this ordeal. Like others, I too have a similar story in that my husband was only two months from first visit to doctor to death.
It truly is as though your loved one has died suddenly in a tragic and horrific accident. It is haunting. My husband died 13.5 months ago and I still relive many of his toughest moments. It is getting better but it’s slow going.
His courage and bravery in the face of this disease will always be with me too. As Lainy said, it does get better, but it’s hard to believe that now.
Thank goodness advances are being made.
I’m so sorry. Condolences to you and your family.
MargaretBig hug to all three of you.
Tabytha — all the best to you on your second opinion at MD Anderson. It’s a big place, with lots of very busy people. Follow Duke’s advice and ask questions, questions, questions. You are getting great advice here. Keep up your great, strong spirit. Don’t give up!
Duke and Lainy, I thank the Lord for both of you, for all the spirit and wisdom and strength you bring to each and every one on this board.
Margaret
Dear Sara,
I’m so sorry. Sorry your sister went through this, sorry for what you and her son and husband are going through, and the pain you’re feeling. Cling to your faith, seek comfort there. It is a struggle to survive through the sadness. I wish you strength and hope. It’s wonderful that you and your sister had one another.
Peace and comfort,
MargaretLainy,
It was nice getting your update and so glad to hear that it’s good news.Just hate the idea of MD visits as entertainment, but who knows, maybe that’s where Teddy will arrange for you to meet a new companion. Teddy does have a great sense of humor, after all, from what you’ve told us. And I’m sure you brighten any waiting room, just the way you brighten our lives here on the forum.
I’m hoping the summer will bring even more good news — enjoy getting out to do a little shopping — and I’m sure Teddy will send you a few signs that he’s out and about with you. ~
Hugs to you!
MargaretDear Pat,
My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry for your husband’s death, especially from this disease, and that the two of you suffered this horrendous experience. Yes it is a difficult road ahead. Some of us here have discussed the emotional trauma caused from this roller coaster cancer, while at the same time enduring the loss of the one you love. I’m so sorry. It is devastating and I’m sorry for your pain. Praying for strength for you. MargaretCathy,
The success of your treatment does indeed send hope to others. I enjoyed reading your description of how this site has changed and I’m so glad for it. Perhaps in another five years there will many more big changes, and we’ll see this cancer brought to its knees.Congratulations to you — so glad for your good news and thank you for sharing it with us!
Big hug!
MargaretJulie,
No advice. Just wanted to say I’m sorry and that I’m thinking of you and sending hopeful thoughts that your discomfort will ease.
Big hug!
MargaretThank you dear, kind and thoughtful friends.
I appreciate your thinking of me and your helpful words of encouragement. Lainy I do feel John was with us and yes, you’re right, he wouldn’t want us to always feel this pain. I like your mantra — it is so true! I was so lucky to share 38 years of life with John!
Darla, thank you for keeping my family in your heart and thoughts. We are trying to keep our spirits up and most days we succeed — and most days aren’t as hard as Sunday was.
Clare, Lisa and Marion thank you — I know that each of us has our tough times on this road we didn’t ask to travel. It has indeed made me feel more compassionate toward others and their hardships; and I trust what you say about the kids, too, Marion.
Thank goodness for being able to lean on one another. Meanwhile, I always try to remember that John is happy because he’s in our Lord’s kingdom.
Love to all of you,
MargaretOh my gosh, Stephanie, I’m so sorry. Even though I saw my own husband fade before my eyes in two months’ time last fall, it is still so shocking to me to hear when others also pass so quickly from this disease.
As someone who is only about six months into being a widow myself, I offer you my deepest sympathy.
I’m glad you’ve found this community of fellow travelers. I’ve learned so much here about the disease my husband died from and it’s helped me to understand what our family, particularly my husband, went through.
I suspect you take comfort from knowing Matt found this site and was making use of it. I hope you’ll find this family of supporters will also be a comfort and a help for you too.
Again, I’m sorry. May the caring of others help you find some respite from the sorrow and pain of your husband’s passing.
Margaret
