pam

Jen, baby Alex Joseph sounds perfect. I loved what your Dad said when he viewed the video and that he had a message for your sister made me well up. I am so proud of your family. To have something beautiful happen ton your family at this point is a small miracle. I’m glad that your dad will be feeling better soon, too. I know you will be taking lots of pictures soon.

Lainy, you and Teddy have been on my mind for days. I come to this site several times a day to see if you’ve posted. I am sure everyone else does too. I hope everything goes well with your Hospice meeting today. I know you will post soon. Lots of love and the best of thoughts for you and Teddy.

So sorry for your loss, Molly. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Lainy, I so agree with your choice for the both of you. It will be comforting for you to be Teddy’s wife in the end. I know this from experience, because my sister and I were both nurse and daughters in the end, mostly nurses. My only advice is not to wait too long for Teddy to be transferred to his Hospice faculty. They will take the very best of care with him, but I don’t want too much stress on you. You are just too special. I know you’d are not ready for Teddy to go, but I also agree, the way he is now is not him. I felt very protective of my dad
in the end.

I am thinking of you and hope you will have all the comfort you deserve. Teddy will have the best care and will be in a glorious place in the end. You must try to get some rest. You are being very brave as well as Teddy. Take care and hugs to you, Pam

Hi Lainy, remember that my dad recently past away. I told him days before he passed that he would have a new coffee shop buddy, Teddy, to solve world problems with in the near future.
Teddy sounds a lot like where my Dad was weeks before he past away. We did not see blue coloration until hours before he died. He was, however, very jaundice so the coloration was hard to detect. My dad’s vitals were pretty good until a week before he died, too. He never pulled at his bed covers but he
halluated and asked where my mom was several times. Adivan was the aniexty medication we gave him. It really worked well. My dad became so weak until he went into a coma until about eight days before he died. The congestion started as he went into the coma. We gave him congestion medication around the clock too. It helped to crush the aniexty and congestion medications when he could not longer swallow. We put them in his mouth with drops of water. I dont know if the Hospice nurse has told you, but most cancer patients will run fever closer to death. My dad did but we were able to uncover him to keep it down. The fever stayed low grade off and on for a couple of days. He kept his pain patch
on and had liquid morphine around the clock.
I don’t know if any of this helps, but my sister and I wanted to know when it
would be his time. It is only natural to want to know! Our Hospice nurse said
for us not to feel guilty about this. It was our protective nature and not

wanting him to be in pain or be in distressed. I can honestly say he was comfortable. The only time he was semi alert was when he was given a bed bath. That was hard for him but necessary for him to rest. We just loved and reassured him that we would take excellent care of him. He was my dad, but I can’t imagine what you are going through with your husband. You are one brave amazing lady! Just know you are so special and you will have wonderful memories of your love for Teddy. I will be thinking of you in the upcoming weeks. Pam

I am so sorry that your mom is so sick. My sister and I lost our dad on November 6h. It was a mirror situation where I was with him during the day while my sister worked and then we took turns at night with her having more nights. It is a tough road but in the end you will feel you did everything you could for your mom. It was an honor and privilege to take care of him.

Just remember a few things. Everyone on this board told me to talk talk talk to my dad when he went in his coma. My sister and I talked to him about the whole summer and all the adventures we had. Then of course we had the serious talks with him when we told him it was okay to let go and that we loved him.

Also when he went into the coma and we started to here congestion we gave him secretion medication around the clock. Aniexty medication and liquid morphine around the clock kept him very peaceful. We made a chart and set phone alarms as reminders. My dad lasted eight days in a coma with no food or water. It wasn’t scary at all. We just loved him.

I am saying all this partly because it helps me to grieve. Mostly because it might help even thought each death is different. I wish you and your sister everything you need to get through this. You sound like strong ladies. Your mom will be in
a better place soon. Take care, Pam

Isisman, you seem scared to me and that is very understandable. This cancer is a roller coaster. We ALL wish the best for our loved ones battling this cancer. I know with my dad it has been intense since May. Some times he needs extra pain medication other times he is fine. I think it is outstanding that he can exercise and walk. You seem like a young couple busy raising kids. My best advice to you is to possibly concentrate less on his illness. That may make you upset, but it is important for him to feel some normalcy. Have you thought about counseling to get you and your husband through these hurdles? Your life is not easy, by far. I understand your struggles. My husband lives six hours away and we are sacrificing our marriage at the moment so I can be my dad’s caregiver.